That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
