I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
