Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
