If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
