Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
