porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
