i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
