Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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