She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
