i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
