Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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