I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
