i think my tv is drunk
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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