I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she smelled like a LAN party
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
