she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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