did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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