i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
