I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
