wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
