Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You need a sexual gate keeper
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
