I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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