just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
