ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize