She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I looked at my own cervix.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
