Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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