Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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accomplished twins. life is a go
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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