Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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