if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
