Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
