he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
