that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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