The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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