They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
