She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
