Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
