lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize