Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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