So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
