did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize