Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
