TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
