Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
