You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
