So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
