Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
