At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
