I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
