I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize