hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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