When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
