is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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