had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize