either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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