I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
