I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize