Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
