I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I understand Curling. That high.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
