What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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